oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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