Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
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