You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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