i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
