i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
