Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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