a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
