Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
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