In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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