my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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