I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
