Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
