South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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