i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
