omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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