I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
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You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
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My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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