when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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