I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
