his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You left your phone here
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