He managed to light the Jello on fire...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
