The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
