Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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