belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Randomize
