Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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