also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
