It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
