then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
