Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I haven't been this sober since birth.

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  (609): I haven't been this sober since birth. http://tfl.nu/qg8c
  Replies (15) Good night (1136) Bad night (2616) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch

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  (248): I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch http://tfl.nu/y65i
  Replies (78) Good night (12370) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?

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  (717): where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from? http://tfl.nu/obbh
  Replies (27) Good night (2281) Bad night (6609) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.

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  (401): Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified. http://tfl.nu/2va0
  Replies (27) Good night (5002) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"

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  (574): We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?" http://tfl.nu/lg4y
  Replies (20) Good night (1029) Bad night (5677) Order T-Shirt
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  (325): View more from Texas

  The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am

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  (325): The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am http://tfl.nu/kqzx
  Replies (11) Good night (1074) Bad night (2846) Order T-Shirt
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?

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  (779): should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark? http://tfl.nu/0hyg
  Replies (8) Good night (3498) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.

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  (705): Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night. http://tfl.nu/58lp
  Replies (18) Good night (929) Bad night (3905) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.

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  (203): Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs. http://tfl.nu/c91r
  Replies (26) Good night (905) Bad night (2880) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%

  (1-914): View more from New York

  He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal

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  (914): I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85% (1-914): He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal http://tfl.nu/wtvm
  Replies (15) Good night (2164) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.

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  (714): I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year. http://tfl.nu/qsqv
  Replies (9) Good night (2054) Bad night (1422)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.

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  (956): The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging. http://tfl.nu/1enr
  Replies (17) Good night (836) Bad night (3717) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?

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  (971): Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics? http://tfl.nu/fki4
  Replies (9) Good night (1194) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.

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  (310): I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover. http://tfl.nu/1zuj
  Replies (4) Good night (1205) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.

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  (801): Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable. http://tfl.nu/oq9e
  Replies (4) Good night (309) Bad night (726)

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