I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???