dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
