Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.

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  (413): Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot. http://tfl.nu/sr3w
  Replies (19) Good night (9563) Bad night (1355)
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  (619): View more from California

  My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.

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  (619): My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words. http://tfl.nu/bbmw
  Replies (27) Good night (679) Bad night (5231)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.

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  (781): He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie. http://tfl.nu/a1e2
  Replies (12) Good night (3959) Bad night (951)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.

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  (985): the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag. http://tfl.nu/heag
  Replies (13) Good night (1315) Bad night (4949)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??

  (713): View more from Texas

  Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.

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  (832): At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept?? (713): Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger. http://tfl.nu/oww9
  Replies (44) Good night (5078) Bad night (9440)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.

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  (215): I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day. http://tfl.nu/v175
  Replies (10) Good night (4180) Bad night (811)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?

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  (203): i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today? http://tfl.nu/2t0w
  Replies (20) Good night (5233) Bad night (1132)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.

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  (662): We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower. http://tfl.nu/o5pz
  Replies (10) Good night (2229) Bad night (860)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses

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  (780): Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses http://tfl.nu/pn1w
  Replies (24) Good night (2116) Bad night (712)
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  (607): View more from New York

  So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.

  (607): View more from New York

  These are the moments that bond souls forever.

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  (607): So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan. (607): These are the moments that bond souls forever. http://tfl.nu/nwlm
  Replies (2) Good night (1027) Bad night (466)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?

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  (215): I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack? http://tfl.nu/k7vl
  Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (303)
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  (530): View more from California

  I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.

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  (530): I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing. http://tfl.nu/soo7
  Replies (2) Good night (691) Bad night (468)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport

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  (815): Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport http://tfl.nu/ttkn
  Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (282)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped

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  (806): Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped http://tfl.nu/37q2
  Replies (1) Good night (592) Bad night (282)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder

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  (678): Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder http://tfl.nu/6csr
  Replies (3) Good night (364) Bad night (247)

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