Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.

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  (205): but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule. http://tfl.nu/cjcr
  Replies (3) Good night (939) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.

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  (520): I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children. http://tfl.nu/78i9
  Replies (19) Good night (7282) Bad night (1509)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7

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  (313): he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7 http://tfl.nu/fzvy
  Replies (3) Good night (2297) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.

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  (804): we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close. http://tfl.nu/c6b4
  Replies (12) Good night (6162) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.

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  (954): Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body. http://tfl.nu/z8oj
  Replies (3) Good night (1099) Bad night (2149)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on

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  (717): I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on http://tfl.nu/s4r4
  Replies (3) Good night (1752) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.

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  (917): I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking. http://tfl.nu/qvff
  Replies (23) Good night (1286) Bad night (3622)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.

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  (575): She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on. http://tfl.nu/epik
  Replies (2) Good night (1729) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ...that shit cray.

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  (734): we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet. (248): ...that shit cray. http://tfl.nu/b6yz
  Replies (14) Good night (4881) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?

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  (386): Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right? http://tfl.nu/g0nq
  Replies (6) Good night (831) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.

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  (518): If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon. http://tfl.nu/vgjv
  Replies (3) Good night (323) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY

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  (425): Sexual Frustration City, population: Me. (423): I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY http://tfl.nu/7zd6
  Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to

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  (574): she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to http://tfl.nu/1loy
  Replies (9) Good night (1438) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.

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  (515): I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore. http://tfl.nu/112w
  Replies (0) Good night (405) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.

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  (970): Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/kc9w
  Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (223)

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