dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.