Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
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The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
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i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid