kristin has been a bad kristin
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
