You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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