i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
