Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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