This is not my ceiling
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
