literally had 100 drinks last night.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
