I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
