Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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