I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
