Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
