idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
