Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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