I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
