You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
