Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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