I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
