should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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