I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
