I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
