After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
