Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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