Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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