I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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