may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
