He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I am available for nakedness
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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