Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
